So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
