These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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