the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
