Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
