Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
