Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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