Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize