you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
