look no pants
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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