she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I lost the right to judge tonight
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
