I want to have your abortion
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
