Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
