so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You're like the curious george of whores
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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