you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
