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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.

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• (571): View more from Virginia

  I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick

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• (315): View more from New York

  I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way

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• (707): View more from California

  Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.

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• (925): View more from California

  skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."

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