Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
