Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Boobs are out for the taking
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
