Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
