happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
This is classic penis vs brain.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
