omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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