You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
