Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize