Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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