It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
