Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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