If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
