this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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