it's too hot outside to masturbate.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I think people are normalizing furries
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
