he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
