Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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