you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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