i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
