I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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