No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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