Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
