Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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