She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
