its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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