So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
