Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
