is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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