just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
