if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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