The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
