glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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