i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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