drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
