everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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