my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
