I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
