Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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