haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
