The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
