if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
