I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
