id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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