so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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