I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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