mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
