you guys were way drunker than both of me
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
