Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
