I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
