so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
