So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
She even gives head with a lisp.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
