do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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