I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
