I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
only if we run a train.
done.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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