I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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