NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
this will be a night to untag.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
