dude i'm inner monologue high
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
