My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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